I’ve always wanted to write.
English was my best subject in school, in fact I could wait until the last minute and bust out a 10 page paper in a few hours- no problem. In my free time (when I used to have it) I’ve experimented with starting some fiction novels. To my dismay, I’ve never actually gotten one to the point of even attempting to find a publisher. Immediately after high school I had full time day job and a part time evening job. The nights that I didn’t work, were filled in with my college courses. Every so often I think about the stories that I’ve started and attempt to pick up where I left off, but life always ends up taking all of my free time.
And by “life” I am referring to meeting the love of my life and his 2 boys at only 20 years old. Am I complaining that they waltzed right in out of nowhere and took over my “free” time? Nope. Because if it wasn’t for taking on all of that added responsibility at that age, We wouldn’t have the life that we have now: A life that includes a home, a daughter, a happy, real marriage, & a few pets- My family.
So going back to writing- It took 5 years for me to admit to my husband that I’d always wanted to write. I don’t think there really was a reason for not telling him, it just never came up. I might’ve been anxious about his reaction, even though he already knows I’m a nerd. When I did finally tell him, his reaction was “Well then… write.” So simple & supportive. Of course, what was the next thing that came out of my mouth? “I don’t even know what to write about.” I gave him that and all of the other excuses I could like “I have no time to write”, “I really need to get back to grad school”, “It costs a lot of money to publish” bla bla bla. That was really the end of our conversation about it that night, but I keep going back to it with myself. Wondering “So if I was to start writing, what would I even write about?”. The more I thought about it, the more frustrated I got because I was just stuck. Then finally one night, just laying in bed at the most random of times, it hit me. Life.
I can’t find time to write because “Life” always gets in the way. So that’s exactly the answer. I need to stop giving myself excuses, and instead use those excuses to fuel what I am passionate about. After all, my life revolves around the kids, their sports, my husband, my career. Once I started thinking about those things that I care the most for, writing material starting flying through my head like a pinball machine.
I have grown up and learned a lot in the last 6 years. That goes for everything. I’ve grown up and matured from teenager to woman. I’ve gone from a 20 year old girlfriend to a 26 year old mom and wife. I’ve gone from a petty (yes I’ll admit it) “new girlfriend” to a successful co-parent. I’ve gone from a newbie preschool teacher to a Grantee Specialist/Trainer for 3 Head Start delegates in the city of Detroit.
I don’t say any of that to brag. I say it to simply state none of it came easy. It took a lot of hard work, and struggles to get to all those things. If I can share some of my experiences for others to relate to and know that they’re not alone, that’s what I hope to do.
So… welcome to nonstop mom life 🙂
P.S. I know that I am joining a million others who “blog” about similar subjects. I know that these posts aren’t going to be the best selling novel that I dream of one day publishing. But they are an outlet for my writing. They are a jump start at getting me to end the excuses as to why I can’t or haven’t written anything. They may not reach a million people or mean a whole lot to anyone else, but just finally doing it, means a lot to me.